Pirates of the Sword Coast
by BriceSquared
Summary: Is it more than coincedence when two people with ties to the Bhaalspawn end up on the same pirate crew? Vague summary, better story... CANCELED
1. Behind Bars

Note: All of this is set after Throne of Bhaal, but I think it still falls into the category… or at least it will soon. Let me know if I'm doing a terrible job voicing a male character, OK?

By the way, I do not own any of this stuff except for original characters like Ryan. But you knew that, didn't you?

"Ryan Irithsen, you are under arrest." The pillow I'd covered my head with when he began battering down my door was abruptly yanked away, allowing the sunlight to attack my face and the guard to frown down at me without hindrance.

"What for this time?" I muttered as innocently as I could into the mattress. It was only after I'd blurted that out that I realized "this time" didn't work that well with fake innocence.

The guard seized upon that right away. "Don't act like you don't know!" I sat up and stared blankly at him. Obviously, this was a new one. Most of the city's guards would know that I could go on all day acting like I didn't know.

As it was, it took about five minutes for the man to sigh and tick the charges off on his armored fingers. "Fraud, petty theft, vagrancy, and obstruction of justice."

I leaned back on the bed and pretended to think very hard. (I probably looked like I was having difficulty making a bowel movement, but it seemed to work on the guard.) "Funny, I don't remember the vagrancy."

"You were caught sleeping on the street outside this very inn!"

"Too lazy to climb the stairs," I dismissed it idly. "Doesn't mean I'm a vagrant. Vagrants are unemployed, for one thing."

"Oh, really, and you have a job?"

"I'm a respectable…" I cast my eyes around the room for inspiration. Just when I thought the guard was going to haul me away on an additional charge of making incomplete sentences, I saw a deck of fortune-telling cards on the floor that I'd pickpocketed from some overly-painted performer the inn's owner had hired to bore the dinner guests. "I'll have you know I'm a respectable diviner!"

The guard looked doubtful. "Can I see a spell?"

"And bring the Cowled Wizards down on my head?" I scoffed. "What kind of self-respecting officer of the law would encourage the law to be-"

"Don't get your arse in a twist." Now it was the guard's turn to scour the room for ideas. "You can use these, can't you?" He asked, holding up the deck of cards.

"Of course." Actually, the closest I'd ever been to one of these readings was watching a circus con artist at work, but I didn't think the guard was an expert either. I could bluff this out. "Now, let's see. Looks like you're due for some big changes in your life, probably involving your religion… you've been driven by money in the past, and it's coming back to haunt you." I gave him a somber glance to make sure he was going along with the lie.

He sure looked like he was falling for it. "I knew I should have donated more to Talos!"

I nodded grimly. "You'll want to get some of your close friends together to help you, but you haven't been very good to those you love lately. In particular, I see a woman…"

"…Jonna!"

"…she'll be there for you, but only if you make things right." Could I sound any sappier?

There were tears in the guard's eyes now. "Thank you so much, Mr. Irithsen, I'm sorry to have disturbed…"

"Nayar! What's taking you so long?" A familiar head poked into the room. Angston. He'd arrested me about four times before… perhaps five? He was used to my crap… which meant I was really in trouble now. "Ah. You let him talk to you, didn't you?"

"Yes, and sir, I think-"

"Let me show you something." Angston snatched the deck from my hands and pointed at the bottom, where some spoilsport had embossed "R. Antir" in gold leaf. "Now, what were you about to say? Something about Irithsen being a decent man, couldn't possibly be a criminal?"

Nayar's face hardened. The next thing I knew, I was in irons and being half-thrown down the stairs.

"Thanks a lot," I shouted up at Angston.

"Don't mention it."

As I was hauled down to the prison, I began to worry about what would happen now that I was finally unable to talk myself out of a situation. Months? Years? A Shadow Thief's shiv in the back?

I had to get myself out of this city. I didn't care what the next opportunity was; I was taking it.


	2. Not My Idea

Note: Thank you to the two people who reviewed (Blackcross-Taylor and Inconspicuous Acuity)! Here's another chapter… hope you enjoy it, but if you don't you have to tell me. Well, you don't HAVE to, but unless all you want to do is point at the screen and say "You suck, Brice!" you really should…

Oh, and I don't know if it matters, but the chapter title comes from the Garbage song of the same name… I got the idea from one of Ryan's thoughts, otherwise it has nothing to do with anything except arson…

--

Have you ever noticed just how dull a prison cell is? There's a stone ceiling, a stone floor, and four stone walls. You might take that as an obvious fact, but I was now experiencing all the boredom that those blank stretches of gray had to give, and after only a few hours of it I could safely say that this was a notable part of the punishment.

For years I'd walked by Athkatla's prison without giving it so much as a glance. Most times, it wasn't even something I'd want to give a glance, as there was often a public execution happening out front. Seeing a pickpocket get the short drop while I have someone else's money weighing down my pockets? Not exactly my idea of a good time. I wasn't anxious to follow their lead, but I also wasn't sure I could stand the suspense much longer.

So when I heard the footsteps and furtive whispers from the hallway outside, I leapt to my feet, sprinted to the door, and began pounding.

"Shut up in there!" a hoarse voice called out. "D'you want to bring the guards over here?"

"It doesn't matter, Falon," another male voice answered. "You've killed them all already."

In spite of my position, I hoped that no one I knew had been on duty. Even Angston was decent if you weren't in immediate danger of arrest.

"Now that's settled, can you get me the hell out of here?" I shouted.

"Don't wet yourself," Falon snorted. "We're letting everyone out as long as we're here. Though if you keep carrying on like that, it might be better to leave you there."

Like a good little desperate inmate, I stepped back and shut up.  
"Maybe we should just leave him in there anyway," Falon continued sullenly.

"You idiot, we need whoever we can get. You think you, me and the Captain can go on by ourselves?"

Falon made a dismissive noise.

"In that case, _you _can do _your _newly expanded share of the work, and I'll get these people to do mine."

I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that. But they were my only ticket out of here. If they made me promise to clean the floor of the Copper Coronet with my tongue, I'd agree to it.

Until I was out the door, of course. I wasn't exactly a floor-grime connoisseur.

The door rattled and squeaked as it was opened (either someone felt that the prison needed sound effects, or the maintenance man was just a slacker). When it was open far enough for me to get more than my pinky finger through, I bolted into the light and past my saviors without looking back.

"Not so fast!" A hand grasped my wrist and pulled me back.

"On the contrary," I cursed myself quietly. "Not fast enough."

"I heard that!" Falon growled as he and his colleague hauled me off to a place I was pretty sure I wouldn't want to be.


	3. It's The Hat

Note: More reviews! My head is spinning. Thank you very much for reviewing the second chapter, Inconspicuous Acuity and arabellaesque. I'm surprised that this chapter got written so quickly… oh well, lucky me, I don't think the next chapter will be as easy…

--

He was scruffy, unshaven, dressed in clothes that hadn't weathered their stint in prison very well. Not to mention that, judging from the way the two guys who'd hauled me over to him were shying away, he hadn't bathed since some time long before his arrest.

I didn't give a flying donkey bottom about any of that. What bothered me was that the man (who Falon and his friend referred to as "the Captain") would not… stop… STARING AT ME!

"This is the last one?" He asked, his brown eyes boring into mine.

"No, there are plenty of other half-elves around," I answered before I could stop myself. Falon gave me a sharp kick in the shin before replying.

"Yeah, nobody else in there but the rats." He failed to mention that, if left to his own devices, I would fall under the classification of "rat," or perhaps (if I'd made him angry enough) into the exalted category of "dead rat."

"What's your name, and why should we bring you with us?" The Captain asked me.

"I've temporarily forgotten my name, and you really shouldn't bring me with you." I used the politest tones possible. I had the feeling that if I was too confrontational, I'd end up back in that cell. Or he'd have Falon chop off my head so he could hollow it out and use it as a purse. Or…

"You hate the thought of getting out of here and making some money that much?"

It's surprising that I didn't have to pick my eyes up off the floor after they bugged out at that little statement. "Money? No, money's great. I love money. Money is so much fun it should be illegal! Not that I'd trouble myself much if I broke the law for it."

"Good." He drew out the word like he was trying to break the record for the longest syllable in Amn. "Now, what's your name?"

"Ryan Irithsen." Damn, I should have given him a fake name.

He raised an eyebrow. "So you're _her _son?"

Double damn. People hear that my mother was a Bhaalspawn, they either back away like I'm going to blow off their head with my astonishing (but nonexistent) divine power or they get a certain gleam in their eyes like they could use me to blow off their enemy's head. This man looked like the perfect example of the latter category.

"You do know that I barely even know what the Slayer looks like, let alone how to change into it or any of that other crap?"

"Of course, I'm not stupid. But that doesn't really matter anyway. What I'm more interested in is your father."

Triple d… oh, forget it, I need to start using a different swear word. "Are you a pirate like him?" I inquired, feeling a bit stupid for not realizing it before.

"Yes, how did you guess?"

Um… the fact that these people call you "the Captain," the fact that you're acquainted with my father… "The hat," I responded resolutely.

"There is that," he admitted, oblivious to my sarcasm. "Well, are you interested or not? Mind you, we're not press-ganging anyone here, I just figured that as long as I was here I might as well recruit from a population that wouldn't get prissy at the offer."

"If you'd prefer not to," Falon added, "you could go join the guards in there instead."

The threat wasn't necessary. It sounded like a fair offer, and what did I have to lose anyway? "I'm in."


End file.
